In June 1998 I was in grade 8, 13 years old, and so obsessed with “The Simpsons” that I constantly tried to make school assignments related to the show somehow. By that age I had done Simpsons Plastercine art, an oral presentation on the educational aspects of the series — in French, among other small projects.
In grade 8 English class, there was a big end-of-year assignment where we could choose from a number of options on what to do. One of the options was to create our own magazine, and being super into magazines at the time, there was no way I couldn’t do it.
And so with the power of information provided by snpp.com, WordPerfect 3.1, photos cut out of People Magazine and drawings carefully copied from official Simpsons merchandise, my tween mind and my tween hands lovingly crafted: Simpsons Illustrated!
The articles were relevant at the time. Season 10 was upcoming, Phil Hartman was murdered the month before, and the American Godzilla movie (with three Simpsons voice actors in its cast) had just come out.
It came with a subscription card.
Fans (myself included) seriously thought the series was nearing its end. Ha ha ha. Hahahahaha.
I’m rustier now, but back then I had hopelessly encyclopedic knowledge of the series. I think I came up with this quiz without having to look anything up. Really.
I actually messed up on the Japanese a little here, and I have a feeling it’s because even my English was falling apart back then thanks to learning French. (It got so bad I would write “parck” and couldn’t remember if “dance” was spelled with a c or an s.)
Red notes from my teacher.
For the “Top 10 Simpsons Guest Stars of All-Time” feature, my picks were Danny DeVito, Helen Hunt, Gillian Anderson & David Duchovny, David Hyde Pierce, Michael Jackson, Christina Ricci and Dustin Hoffman. And…honestly, I just chose guest stars I could find pictures of in People Magazine.
The Good Morning Burger recipe is made up, but the other two are from the show.
My final mark. YEAAAAH
My English teacher was a big Simpsons fan too, so she was delighted by my project instead of horrified. Her favourite character was Marge.
Aaaand I’m not showing the rest of the magazine (tribute article to Phil Hartman, Hank Azaria interview, etc.) because I’m embarrassed by it.
ETA: By request, here are the quiz answers. Comes with bonus tween snark!